Europe

Today I leave for europe.

Tomorrow I get there.

A nine hour flight over the atlantic.
But I get to go to europe.
Wish me luck.

Resolutions and Expectations

Today doesn't feel much like Christmas. So, instead of reflecting needlessly on Christmas, I'll begin my discourse on the upcoming year.


Resolutions:

1. Lose 20 pounds. Of course.
2. Redeem my GPA.
3. Find God.
4. Do fewer things that I'm ashamed of.
5. Find beauty where I don't expect it.
6. Create.
7. At least begin my journey to financial independence.
8. Take pictures of everything.
9. Develop better eating habits.
10. Make it clear--not with words, but with actions--how much I love my friends and family.
11. Give more than I receive.
12. Escape depression.
13. Be real.
14. Read more than I watch tv. (yeah--like that's going to happen).
15. Pursue truth ceaselessly.


As for expectations...I don't have many. I'm in an odd place right now. Nothing is solid. Yes, my friends will be my friends--or at least most of them. The real ones. ...And my family will be my family. If I don't do anything too stupid. But my education is in question, my financial situation, my mindset, my relationships--all subject to change. I know that I enter the new year with a completely different understanding of reality than I did a year ago. This year has been a year of firsts, and in part they have changed me. I don't know what's to come in the next year. Self discovery, spiritual fullness or emptiness, perhaps a stroke of genius? Perhaps a decline into nothingness. I am so unsure of myself at this point. The new year, in part represents so much to me--so many new things. I'm terrified and excited to see what awaits.

Top 11 Guilty Pleasures

1. Harry Potter. It's like chocolate pie for my soul. Only not.
2. Jason Mraz and Damien Rice. I don't know what it is about those two, but it's like I found two of my best friends through music.
3. Piercings and tattoos.
4. Reading PostSecret every week. No matter what. Usually at 12:30 in the morning on sunday.
5. Complaining about stereotypical christians. I know that I shouldn't...but I still do.
6. Nachos Supreme at Taco Bell--with beans instead of meat, no tomatoes, with a side of onions.
7. A white mocha from Starbucks.
8. Chuck Palahniuk books.
9. Staying up until 4 in the morning and then sleeping till 12.
10. Watching people at Disneyland and imagining fantastic and bizarre lives for them.
11. Picking out blank journals.

Jingle Bells...

HandBell Hero

By far the most amusing thing I found on the web this week.

RON PAUL REVOLUTION

You Should Definitely Vote for Ron Paul

You agree with Ron Paul on all the major issues. If you haven't learned about him yet, you definitely should. How you agree with Ron Paul: You and Ron Paul agree that it's time to bring the troops home from Iraq. You and Ron Paul agree that it's time to end the War on Drugs. You and Ron Paul agree that it's time to repeal the Patriot Act. You and Ron Paul agree that the IRS should be abolished. You and Ron Paul agree that the US Constitution has no business defining marriage as "between one man and one woman." You and Ron Paul agree that the government is too big. It's time to give taxpayers their money back.

Should You Vote for Ron Paul?

Last day, last day...

I've got my last final at 6:00 tonight.
I've got to finish answering reflection questions for it (I've got... like.. three questions left.)
And I have to write a paper on theology in Christian life.

The problem is that I am SO INCREDIBLY DONE with school, with being at Biola, with everything.
Let's hope I get everything done.

Finals Week Almost Over.

I have to write a ten page paper by 4:30 tomorrow.
I have to write a paper on theology and the Christian life by 6:00 on Thursday.
I have to write about two pages of spiritual journals by 6:00 on Thursday.
And I have to write out the reflection part of my final by 6:00 on Thursday.

Have I been deluding myself?

I pursue truth.

I is a fat ragamuffin, still.

I'm leaving December 29th for London England. From there I will visit Scotland, and perhaps France or some other countries on the mainland.

I want to weight 136.8 lbs by the time we leave.
As of today I weight 142.8 (before the huge dinner I ate at the Cheesecake Factory).

Wish me luck.


Weight: 142.8
Goal: 136.8
6 lbs to go.

Let that be Enough.

I heard this song for the first time on Monday.
Now it has become my theme.

I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could know
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago
And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

If I explained to you just how badly this week sucked, you might understand why I choose to watch The Office instead of do homework.

So, I'm in a good mood...

I'm completely and utterly stressed.
And I'm tired.
But that's ok. I'm still in a good mood.
Even though I should be freaking out about the oral report I have to do tonight.
I HATE oral reports. You don't understand. I would rather bathe in a bathtub full of spiders than stand up in front of a class and have to talk. Or worse--think. I can't think in that situation.

And what makes this even worse is that I got the short end of the stick when it came to my topic. All of my group members got the good ideas, and I'm stuck with the topic that sounds ok in theory, but fails miserably because there's absolutely nothing I can do with it. So, I'm utterly unprepared, doomed from the beginning, and I have to speak in front of a class for a minimum of 10 minutes. AND THINK.

I'm freaking out a little.
But I'm still in a good mood.

I feel like I'm breaking.

Stress Management

* Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.
* Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
* Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.
* Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.
* Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

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